Sunday, May 31, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009

We're all gonna get laid!

Thank goodness for Friday. I need some time to let my amazing new career news sink in. I am now in the music business, as the manager for this talented little fuckbrain Lil' King! I am so excited I am practically barfing my guts out. His shit is so tight!

I've never really paid much attention to bullfighting, or really given a shit about the bull, but I saw this today and now I'm kind of playing the righteous indignation card and thinking that this sport might be bullshit (see what I did there). Anyway, in this case the bullfighter is clearly defeated. But look at all of the objects buried in the poor bull's back, that would fucking hurt. It's really hard to feel sorry for the bullfighter. You know what, fuck that guy. The video footage tells the whole story.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Paradigm shift of Organic growth in the Blogosphere is true Web 2.0

In an effort to portray my self as more with it or more intelligent than the rest of the business world I call home now is use buzz words exclusively. Here is a short list to get you on the right track.

Warming my cold, bitter heart on a rainy day

Is that kid not the coolest most adorable 2-year-old alive? I wish this was my kid. I would take him on a bar tour of North America and watch him do his magic on unsuspecting greaseballs for big money. The upside is, no one is going to beat up a little kid, and I'd already be out the back door with the car running before the eightball dropped.

Also, I ran across a blog called "Fuck Yeah Puppies" and call me a pussy, but you are a gaping asshole if puppies can't cheer you up. I'd rather surgically remove my own eyeballs with a coffee spoon than see these puppies in pain or uncomfortable in any way.

Finally, this robber's mask is so uncreative it's amazing. A fucking Bud Light box!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Top 3 Favourite Modes of Transportation of a Galcier

What a fine springs day, gentlemen.

Three things came to my mind today, automobiles, and music.

Let us start with the top 3 machine side of this equation for a beautiful day like today;

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Head trauma Thursday

In the academy every cop is taught the first rule of apprehending a runner. A good face kicking establishes the tone that will dictate the duration of the arrest and shows the perp who is in charge. Compliance with this guideline will earn the law enforcement official a high-five from a colleague.

This second one is an excellent clip show of people getting hit in the head with large balls. I am 25 years old somehow.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Monday, May 18, 2009

like most covers

i prefer the original

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Funny Show

Delocated is a pretty funny show from Adult Swim made by comedian Jon Glaser. It's about a witness protection program family. Here is the pilot.

Part 2 has a great cameo from Paul Rudd.

My favorite is the episode where Jon creates a business called "Rage Cage" where you pay five bucks to smash household items with a bat.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Fuck Face!

This is now a baseball blog. Oldstyle Baseball. Crowbar and his computer music can go fuck off...just joking. There are much better blogs to visit if you want to read about baseball, go to Drunk Jays Fans. Anyway, I've been sick for the past two days and other than watching Law and Order, Without a Trace and Unsolved Mysteries (holy fuck do those shows suck) I have been reading a very entertaining book called Moneyball, written by Michael Lewis. The book is about the "revolutionary" new way of scouting baseball players that general manager Billy Beane implemented with the cheap as fuck Oakland Athletics. Looking past some of the problems that come up in hindsight with some of Beane's player choices (he loved Russ Adams!), the book is interesting because of some of the hilarious characters behind the scenes in baseball. One of those characters is Beane himself who current Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi praises for his kitty-punching ability in the minors by stating "he could talk a dog off a meat wagon." Bill James, who almost single-handedly changed the way smart baseball people look at the game's insane amount of stats, compares overrated baseball players to pretty girls:
"Pretty girls tend to become insufferable because being pretty, their faults are too much tolerated." Awesome, but if you don't get how that relates I don't have enough room to explain. James also came up with this insanely rational formula: Runs Created = (Total Bases * (Hits + Walks))/(Plate Appearances). Anyway, if you have even a casual interest in the sport, check out that book.

Also being sick I have re-visited some of my youtube favorites.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Lenny Dykstra is hilarious...will drown you in tobacco spittle

"Nails!" Lenny Dykstra is awesome even though he is an obvious douchebag. He was part of a shit show/unbelievable 1986 New York Mets world series winning team that collectively snorted more blow off stripper tit than even Satan himself would want to know about. Daryl Strawberry has a lot to say about it in his book.