Thursday, November 26, 2009

holy fuck


repost for eddddddie

party time in the city

We Are Prostitutes

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Just Sayin'


Can beat it.

Is anyone out there OSP?

Monday, June 29, 2009

Baseball Heroes: Wade Boggs





I think Wade Boggs is a bad liar. Here's an interesting story regarding rumors of his alleged feat of alcoholic endurance. On second thought, 64 Miller Lites is like only like a two-four in Canada right?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

We're talkin' toilets!

I technically work in the plumbing industry. I do pricing and write descriptions for what seems like millions of fucking toilets. Did you know that for 700 bucks you can buy an attachment for your toilet that will fire water at your asshole (cleaning it?) and proceed to dry it for you? Safe to say I have toilets on my mind most days. Anyway, this potty training video from Japan is hysterical, beyond creepy and features a really enthusiastic talking toilet. The last time a toilet talked to me I had just consumed a pint of Windex and lets just say it wasn't that happy to see me.



This guy doesn't trust toliets I think. Or he's just a huge retard.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Friday, June 12, 2009

Here's to yet another wasted week


Despite some poor reviews I keep hearing good things about "The Hangover." Apparently Zach Galifianakis steals the show, which to me is not surprising. I think he is one of the funnier humans on the planet right now. I remember putting some of his video up a few months back and some jerk off commenter said something like "I don't see why he is considered funny." I remember thinking to myself "Congratulations dipshit you are the reason why Family Guy is still on the air." This clip is from a short parody he does of vodka commercials also, part 2, part 3.



"There are no second acts in American lives" (Bullshit)
The Atlanta Falcons have finally released Michael Vick. Wtf? Apparently they were trying to trade him! What there's no market for incredibly athletic and mobile quarterbacks with dog-killing issues? I thought pro football was all about second chances. See: Adam 'Pacman' Jones
And some dated music if anyone is interested.

Dinosaur Jr.-Almost Ready

The Virgins-Radio Christiane

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Monetize?



this blog is no longer about music as there are other better blogs for that and i have kinda lost interest in it. now its all about old tv show clips photos and videos of animals doing naughty things. and the occasionally mp3 post, if i get around to it...CROOOKERS next time.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Monday, June 8, 2009

This can't be real



The guy in this video is either one of the world's legends of sarcasm in acting or simply deranged. Either way, I will be seeing him soon...in my nightmares.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Unconventional funny guys

On his show Curb Your Enthusiasm Larry David is funny in a full body cringe kind of way where your finger wants to change the channel because its so painful but just can't. On the other hand in Seinfeld he did some more traditional comedy in his voice work and brief cameos that were always awesome. I love him as the guy in the cape, Frank Costanza's lawyer.



I've always liked Norm MacDonald even though a lot of people think he sucks. I think some people dislke him because they don't appreciate his understated demeanour and the deliberate awkwardness that is behind his charm. Also, he likes to intentionally bomb jokes which is an approach most people can't comprehend. This is shown well in the second clip.





Also, crowbar (we have got to stop using these fucking stupid names) and I have been enjoying a blog called lamebook. It a collection of hilariously stupid things people post on facebook but you'd probably be surprised with how they're not that much dumber than retards you know.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

burns - turbo from Thomas Bachellier on Vimeo.



i thought i was over this kind of music, but this song is so good, wrecking anything. the video reminds of street carnage's video fo that white Williams song

Monday, June 1, 2009

you can buy this song

Mayer Hawthorne - Just Ain't Gonna Work Out from Stones Throw on Vimeo.



on that heart shaped vinyl, very cool , nice song as well

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009

We're all gonna get laid!


Thank goodness for Friday. I need some time to let my amazing new career news sink in. I am now in the music business, as the manager for this talented little fuckbrain Lil' King! I am so excited I am practically barfing my guts out. His shit is so tight!




I've never really paid much attention to bullfighting, or really given a shit about the bull, but I saw this today and now I'm kind of playing the righteous indignation card and thinking that this sport might be bullshit (see what I did there). Anyway, in this case the bullfighter is clearly defeated. But look at all of the objects buried in the poor bull's back, that would fucking hurt. It's really hard to feel sorry for the bullfighter. You know what, fuck that guy. The video footage tells the whole story.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Paradigm shift of Organic growth in the Blogosphere is true Web 2.0

In an effort to portray my self as more with it or more intelligent than the rest of the business world I call home now is use buzz words exclusively. Here is a short list to get you on the right track.

Warming my cold, bitter heart on a rainy day



Is that kid not the coolest most adorable 2-year-old alive? I wish this was my kid. I would take him on a bar tour of North America and watch him do his magic on unsuspecting greaseballs for big money. The upside is, no one is going to beat up a little kid, and I'd already be out the back door with the car running before the eightball dropped.


Also, I ran across a blog called "Fuck Yeah Puppies" and call me a pussy, but you are a gaping asshole if puppies can't cheer you up. I'd rather surgically remove my own eyeballs with a coffee spoon than see these puppies in pain or uncomfortable in any way.

Finally, this robber's mask is so uncreative it's amazing. A fucking Bud Light box!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Top 3 Favourite Modes of Transportation of a Galcier


What a fine springs day, gentlemen.

Three things came to my mind today, automobiles, and music.

Let us start with the top 3 machine side of this equation for a beautiful day like today;



Thursday, May 21, 2009

Head trauma Thursday

In the academy every cop is taught the first rule of apprehending a runner. A good face kicking establishes the tone that will dictate the duration of the arrest and shows the perp who is in charge. Compliance with this guideline will earn the law enforcement official a high-five from a colleague.



This second one is an excellent clip show of people getting hit in the head with large balls. I am 25 years old somehow.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Monday, May 18, 2009

like most covers

i prefer the original

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Funny Show

Delocated is a pretty funny show from Adult Swim made by comedian Jon Glaser. It's about a witness protection program family. Here is the pilot.


Part 2 has a great cameo from Paul Rudd.

My favorite is the episode where Jon creates a business called "Rage Cage" where you pay five bucks to smash household items with a bat.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Fuck Face!


This is now a baseball blog. Oldstyle Baseball. Crowbar and his computer music can go fuck off...just joking. There are much better blogs to visit if you want to read about baseball, go to Drunk Jays Fans. Anyway, I've been sick for the past two days and other than watching Law and Order, Without a Trace and Unsolved Mysteries (holy fuck do those shows suck) I have been reading a very entertaining book called Moneyball, written by Michael Lewis. The book is about the "revolutionary" new way of scouting baseball players that general manager Billy Beane implemented with the cheap as fuck Oakland Athletics. Looking past some of the problems that come up in hindsight with some of Beane's player choices (he loved Russ Adams!), the book is interesting because of some of the hilarious characters behind the scenes in baseball. One of those characters is Beane himself who current Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi praises for his kitty-punching ability in the minors by stating "he could talk a dog off a meat wagon." Bill James, who almost single-handedly changed the way smart baseball people look at the game's insane amount of stats, compares overrated baseball players to pretty girls:
"Pretty girls tend to become insufferable because being pretty, their faults are too much tolerated." Awesome, but if you don't get how that relates I don't have enough room to explain. James also came up with this insanely rational formula: Runs Created = (Total Bases * (Hits + Walks))/(Plate Appearances). Anyway, if you have even a casual interest in the sport, check out that book.

Also being sick I have re-visited some of my youtube favorites.


Sunday, May 3, 2009

Lenny Dykstra is hilarious...will drown you in tobacco spittle



"Nails!" Lenny Dykstra is awesome even though he is an obvious douchebag. He was part of a shit show/unbelievable 1986 New York Mets world series winning team that collectively snorted more blow off stripper tit than even Satan himself would want to know about. Daryl Strawberry has a lot to say about it in his book.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Spot on


Just because I don't really post music on here any more, here is some because I've gone crazy with boredom and I am currently drunk.

The Modern Lovers-Roadrunner
Spank Rock & Amanda Blank-Grit City
Snoop Dogg-Upside Your Head
David Bowie-Ziggy Stardust
Van Halen-Dance the Night Away
Pavement-Cut Your Hair
Tim Rally Gold-Planting Flowers
The Cars-Double Life

All the king's men cannot put it back together again.


i think what makes this song great is that you can't really tell that U2 had anything to do with it

U2 - Magnificent (Fred Falke Remix - Edit)

Thank God for the rain to wash the trash off the sidewalk.


i like to listen to french music, because the lyrics could be so gay that i could hate them if i had any idea what they were saying but alas, french wasn't a strong point for me, so there music always good down sweet.

Plastiscines - La Règle Du Jeu
Plastiscines - Loser ( Les Petits Pilous remix)

by the way these songs right here are top notch

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

neil is whats up

this is great music video, i like to think its pretty much what he is, that's his shitty old car, that's his dog, and he just boots around singing to his songs on the tape deck, because that's what i did one summer, i played the harvest moon tape till it broke at one end, so i bought the cd. i saw him play earlier this year in toronto and it was pretty good. i heard a cool think about him, he made a album with heavy vocdor use (trans), and all the record ex's were pissed because it sounded fucked, but he did it because his autisic kid really responded to that digital voice more so than his natural voice.

so click here for the video

Neil Young - Transformer Man
Neil Young - Computer Cowboy (Aka Syscrusher)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

WOOOOO!



I know this might be played but I can't believe I forgot about this poor asshole. Gorgeous George and his creepy friends had (still have?) a public access TV show in Richmond, Virginia and this video shows how poor George is savagely tormented by prank callers. Luckily George is king of the comebacks. My favorite: "You got crap in your mouth and semen, crap and semen in your mouth, why don't you crunch it down with some rice crispies and milk" (I am so stealing that).

George also has an awesome website that is a magnificent case study in self-delusion. His section called "Summary of Detractors" is particularly great, while his heart-breakingly poetic "Ode to Sue" is also a worth the read if you're looking to barf away a few minutes.


The Horrors - Who Can Say from IM // UR on Vimeo.


The Horrors - Sea Within A Sea from XL Recordings on Vimeo.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Movie Badasses


Of course Steve McQueen is at the top of any list of movie badasses. He totally reminds me of myself except for the whole "screen magic" thing that seems to be so important.



Harvey Keitel on the other hand, is a very underrated movie badass. This scene has one of my favorite lines in it.



"Get me a Bud, a high boy. Make sure its fuckin' cold, I'll straighen this out."

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

look like a baby rat


off for a quick jaunt out east on an oldstyle vacation ripe with pilsner's, made some cds so maybe there is some decent music in them. here are a couple that i have been listening to as of late.

Poni Hoax - Antibodies
Dem Franchize Boyz - White Tee
Tangerine Dream - Love On A Real Train
Chateau Marmont - Anything & Everywhere
Vampire Weekend VS Miike Snow - The Kids Don't Stand A Chance
Run DMC - My Adidas (pilotpriest remix)
Blacklight Flashlight - Dreaming In
The Juan Maclean - One Day (Surkin Remix)
A-Ha - Take On Me (The Twelves Remix)

Now they've done it



Until I viewed this video I was alright with living in a free society where one can do what they please, when they please, given that they don't impede upon the basic freedoms of others. However, I'm now thinking we should restrict freedom further because this song is restricting my basic freedoms of not having panic attacks and shitting blood in the middle of the workday.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Today here's some shit



Watched that one first thing in the morning which was a treat. From a solid list of CNN bloopers here



Is everything on Maury fake? I don't know cause I don't watch it but if this isn't fake, Maury is a fucking asshole. If someone is that afraid of pickles (I do realize that is beyond fucked up), then maybe don't have them go to a pickle factory, or confront them with trays of fucking pickles on national TV. That is what should be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Gooby!



I hate to use up so much space with videos in one day but today has been special. I haven't cried while supressing laughter in a while. This film actually exists. The fact that it is about a kid and some crazy looking pedophile bear is bad enough. Even worse is Eugene Levy's presence. But the capper is that at the end of the trailer Levy is buying "Compliments" brand toilet paper, which means that Canada is responsible for this mind raping spectacle. Judging by the trailer 80 percent of the film takes place in a grocery store.

Why the internet was invented



Sometimes I'll be sitting around and think to myself, I could really use something going on that will both blow my mind and annoy the living shit out of me. This video fits perfectly into that little groove. It's a guy, playing Mario World while reciting John Stuart Mill's "On Liberty" essay at the same time. HAAAAA! And just to make it extra irritating, for some reason he says "SNES9X" every time he dies, and he fucking dies a lot. Watch this on drugs, I dare you. Or just see how long you can handle it period. If you can waste over a minute on this masterpiece of insanity I salute you.

edit-I realize that it is impossible for him to be doing the two things at once. He is reading over it, oops I'm a retard.

New Tiga video


tiga_shoes from SAL on Vimeo.

i second that





I am ready to burn a hole through my liver this coming month.

La Roux - In For The Kill (Foamo's Skream Remix Bootleg) (320)
HEALTH - Triceratops (CFCF Rmx)

I have some more slow jams, I went through the mass and found some really good ones. By the end of Easter at the latest.

And I know I am late but I just picked up the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album and its a vast improvement over some of there previous efforts.

I hope they turn it up loud tonight.

Time to party with the Polish



Times have been stressful now it is time to unwind with a bottle of V and by going to Decadence tonight. Holy fuck allstar line up Steve Aoki, Bloody Beetroots, Crookers, MSTRKRFT and more i suppose... well fuck its time to get the party started. CROOOOKERS!!!!

Annie - Antonio (Designer Drugs Remix)

Here is a booger pick, if you know dont know booger... he doesnt want to know you cheers
Metronomy - Heart Rate Rapid

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Cool dog kills this loser's bad mood


Was at the Jays home opener last night and for the second straight year fucking drunk mongoloid pieces of shit almost ruined the whole thing. What kind of people throw baseballs at the opposing team's outfielder? Guuuuhhhhh. Also, fucking shitbags need to consider that the half consumed beer they are throwing towards the field might find the back of an old lady's head or a little kid. If this was Awesomeistan and I was Ayatollah or whatever it would be great to have these guys hanged right on the field.

Unless you have no internet or have your head jammed up your ass, you have probably seen the trailer for Spike Jonze's adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are. Now someone has gone and made a trailer for the kids book Everyone Poops and its pretty great.



Oh yeah and "Name of the Year" is a pretty awesome NCAA bracket spoof voting on the stupidest names out there. Apparently they are real names...one of my favorites is Crystal Metheny. That girl has gotta be a stripper, right?

Sunday, April 5, 2009

aaahhhhhhhh school


Haven’t been feeling music lately or been listening too much, I have about 75 new ones queued up so, something should come of that. However, I have been back on the wire since getting season 4. I have the whole run of it now so if you don’t feel like shelpin out 250 bones for the DVD’s email me or something and something can be arranged. This video is great. If I am watching TV on the weekend and breakfast club comes on I end up watching wither or not something is better on, or I have something to do. Also duckie from 16 candles is the nerdy brother on two and half men if that slipped past anyone’s radar, I am sure it didn’t, because that is a great show. I wish foot loose was on more often.

set to the great new music of Pheonix -

lisztomania

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sometimes I'm doing a drum solo and I haven't eaten for like 3 fucking weeks...I eat a Snickers



This drum solo is awesome. If I could be a rockstar from the past I wouldn't mind being Keith Moon. Blowing up hotel room toilets with dynamite sounds like it might be a bit of a kick. Dying at 32? Not so much. Keith's response to a question at the end of the video is priceless.

This one below I know is supposed to be funny but it almost isn't. I don't know what it is supposed to be.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Wassup with you!



Wow. What kind of an awesome wet dream must have this been for Michael Jackson. Becoming bff's with Eddie Murphy, deep lyrics, hearts with angel wings drifting gracefully, motherfucking schoolchildren running around! I can't believe I hadn't seen this until recently. Totally kicks the shit out of Party all the Time.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Pass my 1-iron old sport



If you're like me and golf is more tolerable if you've had a six pack by the turn, this product could be for you...or if you're incontinent. At most top courses, inserting your penis into a fake golf club, urinating, and then transporting the urine in a glorified piss jug is always preferred to seeking "embarrassing" relief in the bushes.

Wild Things

there is finally a trailer up for Where the wild things are at apple trailers. I have been waiting for a while for this one Click here to see it.

My sister might have vestibulitis, what should she do?



I have a bit of a man crush going on with Boy Crisis, I have been creeping out there myspace the past couple of days, there songs are all a little different which I am feeling but there all pop genius, I can't believe I am not hearing there songs on Gossip Girl or the The City (one can only hope).

Boy Crisis - Dressed to Digress (alt link)
Boy Crisis - Ganglion of Lightnings (alt link)

and Voxtrot is finally putting out some new stuff, or I have been living in a cave for a bit. They were my go to music for a while. There album Mothers, Sisters, Daughters & Wives is definitely worth a buy.

Voxtrot - Trepanation Party
(alt link)

and to cap it off if you have any sexy questions needing answering or just want a good laugh at the naivety of people click HERE

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Sebastien Tellier - Kilometer from Lucky Number Music on Vimeo.

post in a little bit.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

sweet berry wine

Passed out Wookies


Go to this website and click on the gallery called "Wookie Hall of Fame." PCP's employee of the month July 2007 is in there!

http://passedoutwookies.com/

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

What have they done?



Look its the the future! People in Japan keep finding new ways to terrify the rest of the world. First its stomach wretching porn and now creepy, vacant looking "humanoids" that will probably make us obsolete or kill us all one day. Yesterday I read about this thing, so I went and found the video and it was some of the comments that amazed me the most. For example:
-"Go Go Gadget Gonads"
-"The designer shoud give her multiple vaginas..I'm just saying"
-"When will we be able to have sex with them?"
-"Walks like its got a butt plug in..maybe thats where it recharges?"

Uggh, assholes. Thanks for making my afternoon a continuous dry heave. All I know is that I really don't want to live in a world that is a Japanese porn version of I Robot.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Put a DONK on it?


I have a feeling Bran from GOSH DAMN! will be feeling this, running close to 150bpm I think. The Blackout Crew put a donk on a club standard, and once you get over the high bpm, its pretty good.

Metronomy - A Thing For Me (Blackout Crew Remix) (alt link)

This one is a little bit easier to swallow. It doesn't just go all over your chest.

Metronomy - Radio Ladio (Radioclit Swedish Remix) (alt link)

it feels like a cooking sherry night...


I can't find an Irish shanties I thought I had on my computer so I am going to have listen sound of my own green vomit trickling out of mouth at 2 in the afternoon on repeat.


This band plays a similar style to a band I posted back a couple months now 'WAVVES' they have a similar DIY noise fuzz punk style to them, I am really feeling.

Pets With Pets - We Only Found This Place (alt link)
Pets With Pets - The Girl Up And Down (alt link)
Wavves - So Bored (alt link)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

not for me and you


I have got some more new Royksopp here for you. The album is sounding pretty good, you can head over to there myspace and give most of it a listen.

Royksopp - You Dont Have A Clue
(alt Link)

Getting over it



I know the video quality is crap but it's probably the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Mixin Juice with some Gin,


I finally got apps for my iphone, I have had it for a while waiting for them to get good, and I have to say, I feel let down. I got a sweet app that makes my phone screen look like it has the chicken pox and all I had to do was cover it in beer.

This song has all the right amounts of good, I usually steer clear of (VS) songs as I assume they blow. This is one I can aptly describe as a party track.

Deadmau5 vs Donnis - Ghosts N Stuff (Dirty Disco Youth Remix) Vs Party Works (Medley Blend)
(alt link)

Gomorrah



Gomorrah is based on a book of the same name by Robert Saviano about the mafia of Naples. I first read about this guy in an interview that Vice did with him a while back. I don't know why I am so interested in depressing films, books and tv shows but to me this film looks an interesting departure from American gangster movies and tv. It opens today in Toronto. Exactly where it is playing? I do not know.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Badder than ever


This is a picture of Terrell Owens when he made the unwise, yet totally awesome decision to celebrate a touchdown on the Dallas Cowboys star in the middle of the field. T.O. could easily be said to be one of the most arrogant failures on the planet along with the likes of Donald Trump and Paris Hilton, but at least he is fucking funny. I was browsing through my itunes yesterday because what the fuck else do I have to do, when I came upon an mp3 labelled "TO_cowboys_rap." I had forgotten about this song he made a few years ago because listening to it, on a musical level, it is like having someone strap on a razor tipped dildo and fuck you in the ears. Arguably it is worse than K-Fed's stillborn "rap." But as far as pure comedy is concerned, it's fucking great.

Terrell Owens-I'm Back
also a couple of old ones I was glad to revisit
Joe Walsh-I Like Big Tits
The Juan McLean-Give me Every Little Thing

One little thing I gotta put out there. Canadians love to run around whining about how nobody takes them seriously. Here's a hint: stop over-reacting when a Canadian does anything on the international level. For example, "news" from the Star today, "Over-rated Shitbag Golfer Tees it up with Tiger." Replace "over-rated shitbag golfer" with "Mike Weir" and you've got yourself an embarrassing piece of journalism.

I miss Electric Circus. Also, Corey Feldman is awesome.

Debbie Harry is not so hairy



Blondie - Heart of Glass

Hi. I'm a recovering crack head. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare, please.



here are three new ones of some much anticipated albums coming out very soon, all very high recommended

Röyksopp - The Girl And The Robot alt
Phoenix - Lisztomania alt
Shout Out Out Out Out - Run alt

i am trying out you send it right now, and i am already at 51% of my bandwidth. if these go down in less than a week or so. i ll reup them on media fire if you let me know in the comments .

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Upload sucessful



This is quite possibly one of the best songs I have heard in a very long time. Its been a long while since caught my attention like this song. Highest Recommendation. Also its in 320kb.

Zombie Nation - Mas De Todo