Kooky Old Dudes, Unite!

Kooky dads are the greatest. My dad spends his entire day hanging out in his Roadtrek which is usually parked in the driveway at his home in Huntsville ON (its some sort of traveling, hightech camper slash apt) that is, if they are not en route somewhere. For some unexplained reason he would rather hang out in there then in his home. I don't ask for two reasons, for one, I'm scared to understand how his brain works, and two, kooky old dudes are way cooler than boring old dudes, so I just let him be. Its what a friend of mine and I used to describe as CDS (Crazy Dad Syndrome), and it can apparently happen to anyone. A few Easters ago she had received a call from a friend who lived near her parent's home in suburban Ottawa; citing that there was some sort of frightening Easter mascot that was lighting up their lawn and scaring the neighborhood children. So she calls up dear old dad and inquires; to which he replied: "Oh, you mean Easter Man?" He had constructed bunny ears and applied them to the head of a light-up snowman Christmas decoration. The main problem was that it still looked quite a bit like a snowman, and now this "rabbit thing" had a carrot for a nose. What a terrible trick to play on this poor bunny, probably who, if he had been real would have to constantly struggle with the desire to rip his nose off and eat it. Anyway, I bet Sebastien Tellier would make the kookiest of dads, and as you may know quite well, I go totally Moo Moo for Moulinex. Enjoy!

Kilometer- Sebastien Tellier (Moulinex Remix)

Horny slut hotline, Peppermint speaking...

Take a look at this human slinky guy. I don't know if its intentional or not but it looks like a guy nailing a girl at some points.


Human Slinky Halftime Basketball Creighton University Omaha NE - Watch more Sports Videos

this is what really turns me on though



Since I can't seem to take Justice's cock out of my mouth yet, here is a few live variations/remixes of some of their shit.

Justice-Phantom Part 1.5

Justice-Two Minutes to Midnight

My girl's got my money like I'm Old Dirty Bastard

Go watch Wild Style (Circa 1982). Do it now. Hip-hop hippity if you haven't already hombres. 

My apartment is freezing. I haven't slept in a long time, and when I do, I have deranged, masochistic dreams. Oh, and the dog upstairs has been barking every 3 seconds for the past 2 and a half hours. One would likely conclude these circumstances might produce a bitter, paranoid introvert, but I'm surprisingly not phased and by day somehow manage to pull off my usual sarcastic smugness. I'm pretty pumped to hit that old familiar dance floor tonight, dance party, as always, compliments of the sexiest GOSH DAMN dj's this side of the mesosphere. I'm hoping they'll rebang-out MARS for me even though I have already requested it on a previous night, but in light of the upcoming FAKE BLOOD concert in Toronto (if you're not there I hope you get kicked in the face with a homeless man's foot), I figure its called for. On the topic of dance parties, I will highly recommend NOT trying to have a dance party on booze lathered tarped floors. We went to a U of T frat party on the weekend (don't ask), and not only did I fall down the stairs twice, but Ju fucking brukkk her jaw. Crazy shit is, girl gets up and parties harder than ever, blood and all, now thats some fucking balls, boys. Everyone give the girl a high five when you see her, and I'm dedicating the Designer Drugs song to her. I've been listening to a lot of music lately, dropped by Rotate This to pick up some tickets and of course ended up buying the new Gang Gang Dance album, which is retarded good, but everyone says that so I'm going to fuck off on that one. What is the absolute cheapest way to get drunk? No, seriously, someone tell me. Something thats not new but cool and somehow managed to slip through my zombie like album sifting is Human Highway (dude from Unicorns and Jim Guthrie). Holy Hate Mail! Its the best shit to fall asleep to, or to lie in bed and wish you sleeping to. Im going to start making all of my cloths, its a very anti-American Apparel statement; as lately I've been hearing more and more people go on near psychotic, murderous AA tangents. I've realized that every blog I force myself to read instead of doing work is flaunting that shit like an impoverished Afghani Farmer with 5 super hot, definitely sell worthy teenaged daughters. Oh shit, guys, now there's an angry, Gestapo looking man knocking on my door, and he's wearing 65 different colors of the softest, over priced cotton I have EVER SEEN. Help!

Signing out:

Pepper -You Just Went Too Far- Park

Treasure Fingers- Cross The Dance Floor (Designer Drugs Remix)

Gang Gang Dance- Princes

Human Highway- Sleep Talking

Play that Diane Sawyer song, just fuckin' play something that's why your here

Trailer Park Boys is done next month and then there is going to be another movie apparently, and then thats all. It's sad but at least they aren't dragging it on. In tribute I thought I would post this clip of "Rickyisms" from some dvd extra or something cause its good. In this video they left out one of my favorites when Ricky says: "Get me two bags of chips Dressed All Over and Zesty Mordant."

Local talent

DJ Barletta, one half of Mansion which is also sick, has been dropping a lot of dope remixes, he's from Toronto or just lives there now and is always playing shows. there is one coming up on the 5th of December that TMDP is playing, also of Toronto. Here are my favorites.

TMDP - RUNNING (DJ BARLETTA GLITCH FIX)
Das Racist - Pizza Hut Taco Bell (Guy Michael-Barletta Remix)
Mansion - Body

but the internet is full of them i am sure your are an enterprising little internet surfer and know how to use hype machine

http://www.myspace.com/djbarletta
http://www.myspace.com/tmdparty
http://www.myspace.com/mansiondj

Worst movie of all time?

Turn up the crazy

Dog-sitting a blind, deaf and senile 15-year old golden retriever is making me feel like jabbing a large needle of heroin into my arm. She decided last night that it would be cool to bark non-stop for about, I dunno, 6 hours for reasons I can't begin to understand. As much as I love the dog I'm really starting to think the poor animal hates my fucking guts, which makes me sad. On the other hand, it is a known thing that she hates my brother so I had to laugh when he stepped in a tremendous pile of her shit this morning, in bare feet. Anyway, just before I was about to swallow some of the valium that is prescribed to her these two wonderful videos of stupid people getting hurt came along and gave me a big warm hug.



The other video doesn't want to embed properly, but I urge you to laugh at it anyway, located HERE

Yes and also worth checking out are these PHOTOS of Mike Tyson's abandoned mansion.

And get your hands on some cheap wine, And get out get out like a trout

i had a bit of a long weekend and didn't get one thing done. watched two movies on TCM (channel 49) and there wasn't one commercial. it kind of made my day. here are some tunes to listen to.

first up is glass candy which is one of my favorite bands, there songs are always fresh
Glass Candy - Feeling Without Touching

DJ Mehdi brings it back with a remix of his own song very chilled out
DJ Mehdi - breakaway (dj mehdi remix)

We have a band are tight, and this remix is so good.
We Have Band - Oh! (Andrew 'Friendly Fires' Remix)

Finally there is Mustard Pimp which i think is the title of a trailer park boys episode, there is no connection i think between the two.
Mustard Pimp - Zombie Revenge
Crookers - Il Brutto (Mustard Pimp El Burrito Remix)


Bonus TRACK

pepper park sent this one my way a long way back it just showed up next to one of my new downloads

Project Pat - Googly Moogly (That Thang Is Juicy)

Darth Vader's ride

Check out this list of the scariest cars ever

I think that the only way I could be more insufferable than I am currently is if I become a born again Christian. All I have to do is quit drinking. I'm already ignorant, opinionated and stubborn. If i can just embrace Christianity in its truest form I think that I can give Stephen Baldwin a run for his money.

I don't know if any of my basketball-nerd friends still read this but here is one for them, Cool Kids straight from the new Nba 2k09 game.

Cool Kids-Pennies

New Order-Age of Consent

scooters, vacation, fall

what is up with Justice that sampler isn't even plugged into anything let alone powered, what the fuck are they doing, just playing a CD and pretending to twist nobs and press buttons. feels a little Milli Vanilli to me.

Here is some tunes that i am feeling
its been a little while since i have heard a Holy Ghost track, and like always its doesn't disappoint
In Flagranti - Business Acumen (Holy Ghost! Cover version)
Cut Copy - Far Away (Hercules & Love Affair Remix)
Eastwest - Easy Come Easy Go

You have got to be kidding me

In yet another example of the passive aggressive fascism that seems to go on unnoticed here in Canada, Queens university has hired conversation cops to monitor and control offensive conversations on campus. Basically, students now have to watch when they use words like "homo" or "retarded" or "fag" and other stuff that is offensive to women, or racially sensitive. Essentially the administration is saying that they can't trust their own students who are being educated at what is supposedly one of the country's top schools to check themselves in terms of offensive language. Man, I don't know how these kids can go one day without calling their friends gay fucking retards or queer-ass bitches. I don't know how they can accurately describe their stupid school. Ahh fuck it, here's some video entertainment.

See more Jack McBrayer videos at Funny or Die

oh man...

info hour: some docs.

i got the soulwax dvd 'part of the weekend never dies' and here it is. if you want the original file in all its quality find me a 1gb upload site that is free.


and if you are interested in the Beatles at all here is a documentary with them called 'let it be' circa 1970. near there last days, kind of depressing.

Black is the new Black

Who knows why my brain works the way is does...but that fire video kind of reminded me of an old favourite in the epic black metal category: Dimmu Borgir. It must be the facepaint. Is it just me or does the orchestral stuff going on in the background sound like it came straight out of a Batman movie?

FIRE!

James Bond Jr.

Watching Quantum of Solace this weekend made me think of one of my favorite cartoons as a kid, based on the fact that it really isn't grounded in reality as much as Casino Royale was. Still, its worth going to the theatre for.



I don't get it, if James Bond Jr. is James Bond's nephew then how can he legitimately hold the title of Jr? Also, I thought Bond was an orphan, so who is this random Bond brother who spawned JBJ?

nothin' like a fresh kill in the mornin'

I meant to do this one a while ago...but have procrastinated instead.

Alas, here it is: Gun O'clock....cool.

http://www.asovision.com/gun/movie.html

The video is pretty cool. But the actual item is awesome. I wish I could wake every mornin' to some good shootin'

Man's Best Friend

its video like this that makes me sure if you died in your house, that your dog would probably eat you after a couple of days.

The future of warfare is frightening (duh!)

The robot in the video below is called the "Big Dog" and it is designed to carry soldiers packs and stuff allowing them to kill people with greater ease. Apparently the mechanism is pretty impossible to knock over. Anyway, the big dog is awesome, but I can't be the only one who thinks that it is also the creepiest thing ever. A couple of days after a co-worker showed me this I had a horrible nightmare about it stalking me in the woods and woke up practically sweating blood.



This next video is just some fucked up nonsense 100%

Untitled post

"weird science" is a new duo of dj's one being Steve aoki, there first single of original material "Haus of cards" sounds a bit like they just chopped up bloody beetroots songs and sampled them over some piano tracks. its nothing special but if you are interested.

Weird Science - Haus Of Cards

and speaking of Bloody Beetroots, here is a remix they did of Roybn's Cobrastyle. very different from there other stuff, but i like it alot.

Robyn - Cobrastyle (The Bloody Beetroots Remix)

and finally here is a crushing song. the orginal was already very hard, but Les Petits Pilous, took it up a step.

Proxy - Raven (Les Petits Pilous Remix)

also here is a video for Les Petits Pilous, new single, very weird video, song is top notch too.

i woke this morning and wondered what is Lisa Loeb doing right now, are those glasses the only thing that ever made me attracted to here all those years ago. so i googled her, these pictures should up, and i stopped looking into it.

Huuuumiliation Tiiiimmme

If you didn't see Kenny vs. Spenny last night you need to get on that right away. It is arguably the best episode yet, and I really didn't think they could top the who can stay tied to a goat the longest episode. If your not really a fan of the show and feel like throwing up right now, watch the humiliation for this week's "who can piss off the most people" episode. I think its the worst humiliation in a long line of humiliations for Spenny.



Also, Kenny and Spenny made a documentary back in the 90's about trying to sell a movie script. Its worth watching if you have an hour to kill and its kind of cool to see how they interact with each other when its not Kenny vs. Spenny. Spencer is still impossibly douchey though. Here's the first part, the other five parts are there on Youtube.

"Pitch"

xxxchange halloween mix

original posted many other places, this one is for capital vagrant, i know he loves this guy, because everything he does is sick. its about 45 minutes and 40 mb, it really starts to get good around the 10 minute mark, and just keeps and getting better and beter as it goes, flutters a bit in the beginning but whatever (in its origins it was radio post, but don't worry its not radio quality).

xxxchange - EVR xxxchange halloween mix

so i was flashed on saturday

at school in the Mackinnon building if you are familiar with the Guelph campus. it was my first time and still don't know how i feel about. i wonder why he picked me i thought that sort of rude treatment was reserved to the locker rooms and public showers of pools and high school, and women. In other news AutoErotique (formally VNDLSM) of Toronto have just been signed to Dim Mak. which i think is pretty cool. i cant remember if i posted this track already but if not or you haven't heard it, hear it is. its pretty good.

Lykke Li - Little Bit (AutoErotique Bootleg Remix)

I would love to be in the most independent movie ever made

Alright, so David Cross and Bob Odenkirk did a pilot for HBO recently and here is a short clip from that in which Zach Galifianakis performs a very insufferable/hilarious song. You need to watch for a minute before the song starts but its worth it.



a second good clip from Zach Galifianakis cause i seem to put up pairs of videos now.


Here is two tracks from the guy from DFA 1979 that didn't start MSTRKRFT
Sebastien Grainger & The Mountains-American Names

Sebastien Grainger & The Mountains-I Hate my Friends

UPDATE: Would you like to read about the biggest fucking liar in the history of lying? Yes? Then click HERE

Cicada

They have been making music for a little bit now, and its some really good music. stuff to do homework or drive at night to. nothing that will pump you up, but will enjoy none the less. i am listening to there first album on repeat right now, while trying to write a couple a papers. they also do a ton of remixing, but that's not for now. here are the highlights off there first album, there follow up album should be coming out very soon. don't think of what i posted as the only good songs on the album, get the whole thing if you like them.


Cicada - Edge
Cicada - The Things You Say
Cicada - All About You
Cicada - Cut Right Through

Rick rolled at applebee's? you know it

Video of one of the greatest dancers of all time. And yes we got rick rolled while eating dinner at applebees. Thought that shit was over...



Here is the tune playing in the video

Mc Miker G & Dj Sven - Holiday rap

Fully Flared

Glass Candy!

Glass Candy at Wrong Bar tonight. Be there or eat pigeon shit. Basically, eat any form of mammalish shit if you're not going to be at this concert. Ida No is the hottest lady alive. Come get into the darker side of electro. Wear a dress, or don't. Just get there.
Glass Candy- Feeling Without Touching
And this one is for Jude my love:
Chromatics- Running Up That Hill (Kate Bush Cover)

i nibble that cheese, that cheese.....look like a baby rat

i have been waiting to long for spank rock to put out a new album, there was a time in the not to distant past when i stole capital vagrants yoyoyoyoyoyo cd for playing in my car a few summers ago, during PCP's some would say prime. when the back of my truck would have enough empties to be able to buy a 24 for later consumption. when death blow was played even if it wasn't raining, and lunch was considered banana splits and tall cans in a parking lot. when one trip a day to the lcbo wasn't enough. well this cd was the soundtrack to that time. and it makes me a little nostalgic every time i hear it.

i wish could remember more of the quotes, but ' this is how i do work' tops them.

Spank Rock - Backyard Betty
Spank Rock - What It Look Like
Spank Rock - IMC
Spank Rock - Rick Rubin
Spank Rock - Bump


Spank Rock - Put That Pussy On Me (Diplo Tonite Remix)
Spank Rock - Lindsay Lohan's Revenge
Spank Rock - Race Riot on the Dancefloor



and i know about bangers and cash, its just not the same



shake it till my dick turns racist

If anybody reading this is in marketing or advertising: kill yourself

If you haven't seen these two Guitar Hero ads yet check them out because its an interesting contrast. The first one features Kobe Bryant, Michael Phelps, A-Rod and Tony Hawk writhing around in their underwear playing fake guitars which is pretty close to the gayest thing you will ever see. The second one is all about Heidi Klum writhing around in her underwear with a fake guitar and it just gave me a boner at work which is not cool. Just think about how many MILLIONS of dollars Guitar Hero would have saved only airing the Klum commercial. Seeing Michael Phelps' grin just makes me want to burn something.

Alboroto!

Its Thursday, and I can confidently say that my weekend will have started as of 9pm tonight. Also, the smell of protests are in the air and its making me hot and oddly sexual. Crookers Friday- at a venue that is sure to ruin my concert going experiences (Circa). The better choice is obviously Glass Candy, but we'll see. Last time I was there my friend and I hid away on the third floor the entire time because everywhere else was too annoying and hectic. Anyway, I have been on blogging vacay for a few weeks but have been finding some pretty sweet tunes, listening to some pretty solid new records- so enjoy, you filthy animals.

Some shit to make ya'll dance:

College Feat. Minitel Rose- The Energy Stor

Le Castle Vania- Zero Machine

The Weird Tapes is a side project by one of my favorite bands Hail Social, and it is by no mean a disappointment. If you don't like this band, go fuck your grandmother. srsly.

Weird Tapes- My Babe Walk

Hercules, I'm in a love affair with you and this song:

Hercules And The Love Affair- Don't Fear The Reaper

This band is pretty cool. I got a super Gary Wilson-esque vibe from it that made me want to do experimental drugs and become a traveling side show groupie.

RTX- Cheap Wine Time

Tunes to be a reclusive weed smoker to:

Amazing Babies- The Narwhal

Nightmares On Wax- Hear The Color

Bad Ass Women, Wicked New Albums! I wish they were both my personal before bed story tellers.

Jenny Lewis- Jack Killed Mom

Laura Marling- Ghosts

Last and definitely not least: These are two bands that I have loved for a long time, their new albums are both pretty exceptional and totally worth your time. They are both perfect for cleaning your house, doing your laundry, and drawing pictures of decrepit, stray cats playing obscure instruments (all of which I just did).

The Rosebuds- Life Like

The Rumble Strips- Alarm Clock

Its to bad McCain didn't win i was beginning to like that old bastard's face

i personally didn't mind him or his politics or Palin, i still need to see 'nailing palin' i heard that there is some good scenes in that puppy,

i haven't heard much in the way in way of good music lately that i would recommend, or i am not looking hard enough / listening to much, so its to the dregs of my hard drive, except for this; which is very good

Lykke Li - Little Bit (AutoErotique Bootleg Remix) (formaly VNDLSM)

and now

The Mystery Jets - Flakes
Interpol - Untitled
Junior Boys - Count Souvenirs
beck - broken drum (boards of canada remix)

in other news i have been watching all the old david cronenberg movies (scanners, the fly, Videodrone) they are super weird, but extremely good. I really liked 'scanners' i suggest you watch them. they are all filmed in Toronto, and actually have real actors not just Canadian ones, which is a testament to there legitimacy or the opposite, depending on your views. i am now heading off too places unknown or 'deer hunter'

and here is a desktop for all ya's

I don't like.....Bob Geldof

If I have to hear "I Don't Like Mondays" every Monday morning on office radios for the rest of my life then I can honestly say that my three divorces, retirement, subsequent dementia and death can not come quickly enough. What kind of a sick fuck would write a song about a teenaged girl who opened fire on a schoolyard? Did Geldof not understand the possible precedent this could have set: shoot innocent civilians and be immortalized by a hit song! Great fucking idea. Those Columbine kids probably thought that someone better would write their tribute if they got their shit together.
Anyway, a couple of videos that helped lift me out of a Monday funk at lunchtime. This wasted midget evading arrest is a new favorite of mine.



and some good meltdowns from tv anchors

a couple days late but very spooky....