We're all gonna get laid!

Thank goodness for Friday. I need some time to let my amazing new career news sink in. I am now in the music business, as the manager for this talented little fuckbrain Lil' King! I am so excited I am practically barfing my guts out. His shit is so tight!




I've never really paid much attention to bullfighting, or really given a shit about the bull, but I saw this today and now I'm kind of playing the righteous indignation card and thinking that this sport might be bullshit (see what I did there). Anyway, in this case the bullfighter is clearly defeated. But look at all of the objects buried in the poor bull's back, that would fucking hurt. It's really hard to feel sorry for the bullfighter. You know what, fuck that guy. The video footage tells the whole story.

The Paradigm shift of Organic growth in the Blogosphere is true Web 2.0

In an effort to portray my self as more with it or more intelligent than the rest of the business world I call home now is use buzz words exclusively. Here is a short list to get you on the right track.

Warming my cold, bitter heart on a rainy day

Is that kid not the coolest most adorable 2-year-old alive? I wish this was my kid. I would take him on a bar tour of North America and watch him do his magic on unsuspecting greaseballs for big money. The upside is, no one is going to beat up a little kid, and I'd already be out the back door with the car running before the eightball dropped.


Also, I ran across a blog called "Fuck Yeah Puppies" and call me a pussy, but you are a gaping asshole if puppies can't cheer you up. I'd rather surgically remove my own eyeballs with a coffee spoon than see these puppies in pain or uncomfortable in any way.

Finally, this robber's mask is so uncreative it's amazing. A fucking Bud Light box!

The Top 3 Favourite Modes of Transportation of a Galcier

What a fine springs day, gentlemen.

Three things came to my mind today, automobiles, and music.

Let us start with the top 3 machine side of this equation for a beautiful day like today;

Now back to the other part of today, cruising tracks;

Metric - Help, I'm Alive (Immuzikation Remix)

Pheonix - Lisztomania (Classixx Version)

Sneaky Sound System - It's Not My Problem (Thin White Duke Remix)

Head trauma Thursday

In the academy every cop is taught the first rule of apprehending a runner. A good face kicking establishes the tone that will dictate the duration of the arrest and shows the perp who is in charge. Compliance with this guideline will earn the law enforcement official a high-five from a colleague.



This second one is an excellent clip show of people getting hit in the head with large balls. I am 25 years old somehow.

Mary Cherry

Boner time Ronaldo!

like most covers

i prefer the original

Funny Show

Delocated is a pretty funny show from Adult Swim made by comedian Jon Glaser. It's about a witness protection program family. Here is the pilot.


Part 2 has a great cameo from Paul Rudd.

My favorite is the episode where Jon creates a business called "Rage Cage" where you pay five bucks to smash household items with a bat.

i dont think

Fuck Face!

This is now a baseball blog. Oldstyle Baseball. Crowbar and his computer music can go fuck off...just joking. There are much better blogs to visit if you want to read about baseball, go to Drunk Jays Fans. Anyway, I've been sick for the past two days and other than watching Law and Order, Without a Trace and Unsolved Mysteries (holy fuck do those shows suck) I have been reading a very entertaining book called Moneyball, written by Michael Lewis. The book is about the "revolutionary" new way of scouting baseball players that general manager Billy Beane implemented with the cheap as fuck Oakland Athletics. Looking past some of the problems that come up in hindsight with some of Beane's player choices (he loved Russ Adams!), the book is interesting because of some of the hilarious characters behind the scenes in baseball. One of those characters is Beane himself who current Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi praises for his kitty-punching ability in the minors by stating "he could talk a dog off a meat wagon." Bill James, who almost single-handedly changed the way smart baseball people look at the game's insane amount of stats, compares overrated baseball players to pretty girls:
"Pretty girls tend to become insufferable because being pretty, their faults are too much tolerated." Awesome, but if you don't get how that relates I don't have enough room to explain. James also came up with this insanely rational formula: Runs Created = (Total Bases * (Hits + Walks))/(Plate Appearances). Anyway, if you have even a casual interest in the sport, check out that book.

Also being sick I have re-visited some of my youtube favorites.

The Kentucky Derby looks like fun

Lenny Dykstra is hilarious...will drown you in tobacco spittle

"Nails!" Lenny Dykstra is awesome even though he is an obvious douchebag. He was part of a shit show/unbelievable 1986 New York Mets world series winning team that collectively snorted more blow off stripper tit than even Satan himself would want to know about. Daryl Strawberry has a lot to say about it in his book.

Spot on

Just because I don't really post music on here any more, here is some because I've gone crazy with boredom and I am currently drunk.

The Modern Lovers-Roadrunner
Spank Rock & Amanda Blank-Grit City
Snoop Dogg-Upside Your Head
David Bowie-Ziggy Stardust
Van Halen-Dance the Night Away
Pavement-Cut Your Hair
Tim Rally Gold-Planting Flowers
The Cars-Double Life

All the king's men cannot put it back together again.

i think what makes this song great is that you can't really tell that U2 had anything to do with it

U2 - Magnificent (Fred Falke Remix - Edit)

Thank God for the rain to wash the trash off the sidewalk.

i like to listen to french music, because the lyrics could be so gay that i could hate them if i had any idea what they were saying but alas, french wasn't a strong point for me, so there music always good down sweet.

Plastiscines - La Règle Du Jeu
Plastiscines - Loser ( Les Petits Pilous remix)

by the way these songs right here are top notch

neil is whats up

this is great music video, i like to think its pretty much what he is, that's his shitty old car, that's his dog, and he just boots around singing to his songs on the tape deck, because that's what i did one summer, i played the harvest moon tape till it broke at one end, so i bought the cd. i saw him play earlier this year in toronto and it was pretty good. i heard a cool think about him, he made a album with heavy vocdor use (trans), and all the record ex's were pissed because it sounded fucked, but he did it because his autisic kid really responded to that digital voice more so than his natural voice.

so click here for the video

Neil Young - Transformer Man
Neil Young - Computer Cowboy (Aka Syscrusher)

WOOOOO!

I know this might be played but I can't believe I forgot about this poor asshole. Gorgeous George and his creepy friends had (still have?) a public access TV show in Richmond, Virginia and this video shows how poor George is savagely tormented by prank callers. Luckily George is king of the comebacks. My favorite: "You got crap in your mouth and semen, crap and semen in your mouth, why don't you crunch it down with some rice crispies and milk" (I am so stealing that).

George also has an awesome website that is a magnificent case study in self-delusion. His section called "Summary of Detractors" is particularly great, while his heart-breakingly poetic "Ode to Sue" is also a worth the read if you're looking to barf away a few minutes.

The Horrors - Who Can Say from IM // UR on Vimeo.


The Horrors - Sea Within A Sea from XL Recordings on Vimeo.

Movie Badasses

Of course Steve McQueen is at the top of any list of movie badasses. He totally reminds me of myself except for the whole "screen magic" thing that seems to be so important.



Harvey Keitel on the other hand, is a very underrated movie badass. This scene has one of my favorite lines in it.



"Get me a Bud, a high boy. Make sure its fuckin' cold, I'll straighen this out."

look like a baby rat

off for a quick jaunt out east on an oldstyle vacation ripe with pilsner's, made some cds so maybe there is some decent music in them. here are a couple that i have been listening to as of late.

Poni Hoax - Antibodies
Dem Franchize Boyz - White Tee
Tangerine Dream - Love On A Real Train
Chateau Marmont - Anything & Everywhere
Vampire Weekend VS Miike Snow - The Kids Don't Stand A Chance
Run DMC - My Adidas (pilotpriest remix)
Blacklight Flashlight - Dreaming In
The Juan Maclean - One Day (Surkin Remix)
A-Ha - Take On Me (The Twelves Remix)

Now they've done it

Until I viewed this video I was alright with living in a free society where one can do what they please, when they please, given that they don't impede upon the basic freedoms of others. However, I'm now thinking we should restrict freedom further because this song is restricting my basic freedoms of not having panic attacks and shitting blood in the middle of the workday.

Today here's some shit

Watched that one first thing in the morning which was a treat. From a solid list of CNN bloopers here



Is everything on Maury fake? I don't know cause I don't watch it but if this isn't fake, Maury is a fucking asshole. If someone is that afraid of pickles (I do realize that is beyond fucked up), then maybe don't have them go to a pickle factory, or confront them with trays of fucking pickles on national TV. That is what should be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

Gooby!

I hate to use up so much space with videos in one day but today has been special. I haven't cried while supressing laughter in a while. This film actually exists. The fact that it is about a kid and some crazy looking pedophile bear is bad enough. Even worse is Eugene Levy's presence. But the capper is that at the end of the trailer Levy is buying "Compliments" brand toilet paper, which means that Canada is responsible for this mind raping spectacle. Judging by the trailer 80 percent of the film takes place in a grocery store.

Why the internet was invented

Sometimes I'll be sitting around and think to myself, I could really use something going on that will both blow my mind and annoy the living shit out of me. This video fits perfectly into that little groove. It's a guy, playing Mario World while reciting John Stuart Mill's "On Liberty" essay at the same time. HAAAAA! And just to make it extra irritating, for some reason he says "SNES9X" every time he dies, and he fucking dies a lot. Watch this on drugs, I dare you. Or just see how long you can handle it period. If you can waste over a minute on this masterpiece of insanity I salute you.

edit-I realize that it is impossible for him to be doing the two things at once. He is reading over it, oops I'm a retard.

New Tiga video

tiga_shoes from SAL on Vimeo.

i second that

I am ready to burn a hole through my liver this coming month.

La Roux - In For The Kill (Foamo's Skream Remix Bootleg) (320)
HEALTH - Triceratops (CFCF Rmx)

I have some more slow jams, I went through the mass and found some really good ones. By the end of Easter at the latest.

And I know I am late but I just picked up the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album and its a vast improvement over some of there previous efforts.

I hope they turn it up loud tonight.

Time to party with the Polish

Times have been stressful now it is time to unwind with a bottle of V and by going to Decadence tonight. Holy fuck allstar line up Steve Aoki, Bloody Beetroots, Crookers, MSTRKRFT and more i suppose... well fuck its time to get the party started. CROOOOKERS!!!!

Annie - Antonio (Designer Drugs Remix)

Here is a booger pick, if you know dont know booger... he doesnt want to know you cheers
Metronomy - Heart Rate Rapid